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Cadillac Escalade
King of Bling
For any gangsta or rappa wannabe, only one SUV is an option: the Cadillac Escalade. Botchi "Supasize" Santos has the lowdown
Photography by Lucky Besa
About a millennium ago, Cadillac was the standard by which all other cars were judged. Now, a lifetime and a half later, parent company General Motors faces bankruptcy, lack of models that capture man's passion being one of the key causes. Save for the Escalade.
Should you be fortunate enough to see one on the road, you'll understand why. It's big, loud, crude, lewd and vulgar, yet oh-so-appealing, in a way only a crass American could get away with.
The Cadillac family crest is a very powerful logo, known to many the world over. Attached to a big and broad, chrome-lined, egg-crate radiator grill, it looks much more menacing, especially with the 18-inch chrome wheels. Twenty-six-inch spinners wrapped in exotic alligator/ostrich skin wouldn't be far off the mark as well.
The chrome wheels add a lot more flash, as do the rest of the chrome appointments on the grill, the metallic-finished stepboard and chrome door handles. It feels quite regal and maybe a bit tacky at the same time, having busy lines plus the add-on wheel flares for that broader stance.
But you can't deny its presence. Even when it's parked, it feels like a brute in an expensive Armani suit, a muscleman, an enforcer for the Gambino crime family. Conversely, it also feels at home with an African-American musician with violent streaks and oh-so-sleazy and sexy women riding shotgun—with a Remington and a couple of MAC10s on the side, of course.
Inside, soft perforated leather and thick carpet cover everything that isn't soft-feeling plastic—a couple of steps above your garden-variety Chevy Tahoe (which shares the same platform). Bulgari helped design the instrument cluster, with chrome rings surrounding the analogue gauges, plus the oh-so-cool (or oh-so-cheap, depending on your point of view) Bulgari-branded analogue clock, while Bose provided the audio-video entertainment system.
Should you forget that Dr. Amar's finest audio system isn't present after you flip the monitor to the various sub-menus, the Bose logo is splattered on the speaker covers throughout the car.
The Escalade seats only seven people, as the middle row provides captain's seats for a truly commanding ride—akin to riding a chariot headed off to war, army in tow, or in this case, going off to your local club and chilling with the boys.
Driving it isn't as fulfilling as simply riding in it, soaking in the experience, feeling the power you may or may not actually possess. It has the ability to capture your imagination, putting yourself into the shoes of someone else, someone definitely meaner, someone that's infinitely part of any testosterone-charged male. Much like riding a proper Rolls-Royce or Bentley, only in a time and place darker, more brooding, and more graphic. When you step out of it, you feel like saying, "What the f**k you lookin' at?! Get the f**k outta my face a-h*le!"
Sure, the Caddy's quite fast—should that bystander you almost sideswiped be carrying a piece, preparing for a hit on you, and you need to make a quick getaway—propelled by that 6.0-liter Vortec-family Yankee V8, serving up over 345hp and 525Nm of torque. It also makes all the right rumbling sounds, like a Mafia man clearing his throat after a successful hit.
But it feels a bit lifeless, the steeing wheel being your garden-variety four-spoke GM-family tiller, albeit blessed with multi-function audio controls and that Cadillac crest. But it's disappointing to see it on such an expensive SUV, and the feel is almost non-existent, artificial and vague on the straight-ahead, better only than the Tahoe, thanks to slightly bigger wheels with more aggressive rubber.
Still, the ride itself is better than other GM-family SUVs, being firmer, less wallowy, in a European sort of manner. Brakes are firm but over-assisted. Throw in a hefty three-plus-ton weight and a powerful engine, and you have a chassis that has a tendency to pitch and squat a bit as you weave through traffic, the optional active road-sensing suspension unable to always keep things in check.
The four-speed automatic transmission is willing to downshift—you always find yourself in the right gear for the right situation, practically devoid of all that slow-motion slurring and less-than-positive shifting. It changes cogs resolutely, albeit still smoothly. Get on its case and the shifts get punchier, no doubt the downside of creating a transmission that will handle the engine's full potential for a million kilometers' reliability. Sadly, the 100-liter fuel tank won't get you far, should you keep mashing the throttle flat to the floor, but heck, don't buy one if you care about fuel consumption.
| Cadillac Escalade |
| We say: For a generation who downloaded hip-hop to their iPods, this is the only Escalade they know. Big, bad and bling. |
Price: P6.5M
Engine: 6.0L V8
Power: 345hp
Torque: 515Nm
Transmission: 4-speed AT
Layout/Seating: AWD/7
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In many ways, the Escalade is a celebration of American excess. You'll find it on the driveways of high-powered executives, professional athletes and, of course, gangsters and rappers.
Undoubtedly, your six large ones will provide such decent sound insulation that all your secret multimillion dollar deals will truly be kept private and undisturbed by outside forces. The in-car audio-video entertainment will keep you enthralled, should you find yourself waiting for the next shipment of goodies at the docks, and the sheer presence will scare anyone insignificant away.
But for once, it isn't about the drive, and to a lesser extent, not even the ride. In the end, it's all about the "arrive."
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Top Gear Philippines - June 2006
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