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Top Gear Philippines


It’s one of those interminable rush hour drives going home, and you feel the crawling traffic is sucking the life out of you. Again. Radio is boring, you’re tired of the same Spotify playlists, and you stare out your car window to look at something—anything—other than the sea of red lights in front of you. 

Your eyes fall on the car beside you, and it’s a couple, and they’re doing something unexpected. No, not that. Are they…laughing? Is that happiness occurring inside that automobile? How can humans smile and laugh in this eighth circle of hell known as Metro Manila gridlock? 

You look around in your empty car, and for the nth time, you and your mother wonder why there’s no one sitting in your passenger seat. 

We don’t claim to be experts at what goes on inside the female mind, because quantum computing would be easier to explain. What we can do is offer some tips based on what we’ve learned and observed through the years. So here are some words that might help alleviate your single status.

 1) You talk too much

Here’s one thing you should know about women: They like being asked questions. Maybe at some point she’ll be interested in your drunken antics back in college, but in the early phases don’t blab about yourself. A car’s cabin is one of the best places for conversation, so ask her about her life, her career, her family. She’ll feel like you have a genuine interest in her. Assuming you don’t look at her cleavage or legs every time you talk to her, you’re off to a good start. 

2) You’re trying too hard to put your best foot forward

Don’t worry if your quips are funny. Don’t embellish your stories. Don't pretend to listen to millennial music. Do be on your best behavior, but be yourself. Talk about the cheesy movies you enjoy watching. Play the music you like to listen to, and if your playlists and her taste can’t inhabit the same cabin, that’s a warning sign. Open the door for her every now and then (that’ll never get old), and make sure your car is clean. Speaking of cleanliness…

3) She has to look for a place to sit

If she hears the words “just throw that stuff in the back” before she gets in, then you’ve got a problem. Don’t forget that your car is a reflection of who you are. If it’s disorganized, then her overanalyzing mind has already decided you’re not family material. 

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4) Your driving makes her uncomfortable

Sorry buddy, but sometimes it actually is your fault. Road rage, speeding, swerving—these will never make you attractive to anyone. You may think your kaskasero habits sound cool when you’re bragging to your buddies, but it’s no fun for her, and you’re actually a jerk.

5) You’ve spent all your money on your car

So maybe your ride, from the detailed interior to the custom paint job, is actually on point. Good job! But all that money you spent now means that your date’s dinner will be ordered through a speaker box. Not cool. And if you do a lengthy explanation about the modifications you made, she’s already mentally thinking of excuses to beg off the next time you ask her out.

 

Jason Tulio
Online Staff Writer
Like most guys, Jason inherited his love for cars from watching his dad talk about and tinker with them while he was growing up. Since then, he has leveled up into the roles of motoring journalist/wannabe mechanic/concerned motorist.
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