Being stuck in urban traffic is the equivalent of dying a slow death. As you stare at a taxi's rear end for hours, you could have been watching a movie, checking your Facebook, reading about the latest cars on TopGear.com.ph (what shameless pluggers), spending quality time with your girlfriend, watching the hilarious Gulliver's Travels, or eating the best chicken wings in town at Charlie's Grind and Grill (a favorite hangout of Top Gear).
Instead you do nothing but stare at the car in front and check your watch. You can feel your life slipping away, the sands of time running through your fingers, never to be recovered. You can't text because traffic is inching forward, the car before you might stop and with your divided attention you'll end up one of those guys scratching their head while staring at the bumper they just rammed. And if you cause an accident you will exacerbate traffic further, earning the eternal ire of those you inconvenienced.
You can't watch movies on your smartphone because you'll have to pause it every now and then, and that'll disturb the flow of any movie. Plus, your attention will be divided, see the preceding paragraph for consequences. Don't you wish you could be productive, have fun, and just kill time happily while the government hasn't come up with the needed measures to curb traffic? Don't you wish you could access your laptop and use it while driving? Don't you want to be able to jot down notes, make calls, and play some cards while waiting for parking in your overcrowded office parking space?
Now, you can.
I stumbled upon a product in Amazon.com that effectively solves the time-lost-in-traffic dilemma. Just because it's only available online (as far as I know) doesn't mean it's out of reach. It's not that hard to get a credit card nowadays, and you can order it and ship it to a relative in the U.S.A., who in turn will send it to you. And you're not Filipino if you don't have a relative in the United States. We're willing to bet one of their names is Boy and the other is Baby.
The amazing product is called the Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk. It looks something like this.
And this is one way you can use it.
This is the perfect solution that's been evading the MMDA and LTO. It should be mandatory for car registration, like early warning devices. If we had this device, even we're stuck in traffic half the day, we'd still be productive. The gas companies can subsidize part of the cost because they can make piles more money from all the motorists who prefer to just stay in their cars.
But don't take my word for it, read six glowing testimonials from happy customers on Amazon.
1. Great addition for your night on the town!!!, December 21, 2010
By The Opportunity
I LOVE THIS THING!!! It used to be way hard to cut up lines of coke while driving to pick up my friends to go out clubbing, but this is product has been the answer to my prayers! It's sturdy, and the surface is pretty flat. As long as you don't make any sharp turns, those lines aren't going anywhere... except in my nose. My only problem is that razor blades tend to cut into the surface, so be careful when you're drawing up those lines. An excellent product though!
2. Army approved, December 23, 2010
I drive an M1A1 Abrams tank in Iraq, and this product is a godsend. The Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk—officially designated the "WLSWD Mark IV Personnel Assistance Device" by the Army--is affectionately referred to by tank drivers as the 'Death Desk', and it brings a whole new level of meaning to the term 'defensive Driving.' Now I can simultaneously play Halo with my clan buddies from back in the States and fire off shells at insurgent positions! Not only is this great for relieving stress, but I get twice as much practice at destroying things as the other guys in my unit!
As a result, I am expecting a promotion within weeks. The Death Desk has furthered my career more than my college degree in Feudal Mongolian Studies the Army paid tens of thousands of dollars for me to get! Thanks, Wheelmate!
Occasionally, I look up to be sure I'm pointing my actual cannon in the right direction, but I haven't hit any friendlies so far. One time, I was so involved in a game that I accidentally drifted into oncoming rush hour traffic in Baghdad. I heard a few crunches and muffled screams from outside the tank, but since we barely lost any speed and all systems were still reading "nominal," I figured nothing serious had occurred, so I kept on going and killed the last guy on blue team to win the game!
Our multi-billion dollar defense budget couldn't be spent any better than on the fabulous Death Desk. Hooah!
3. The greatest thing ever invented!, October 26, 2009
By T. Meadows "TM" (WV)
Wow is this thing great! I use it as a minibar when the friends and I go out to the bars. I can quickly fix multiple shots of tequila for myself and the friends as we drive from one bar to the next. We also discovered that if you place a pillow on top of it and turn on the cruise control you can catch quick naps on the interstate. If you swerve to the left or right the rumble strips on the road wake you up in plenty of time before you get into trouble. I can now take longer trips without being tired!
4. Good but with problems, October 28, 2009
By Jamie O'Shaughnessy (UK)
This awesome bit of kit changed my life. The extra hours of work I could get in whilst driving on the freeway has made me so much more productive. In fact, I directly attribute this to my improved bonuses and recent promotion! If you want to get ahead, get one of these.
There is one problem though. In several accidents that I have had while using this, the airbag causes the laptop screen to slam shut. I've suffered several broken fingers because of this. I have started to look around for airbag finger protection but have not yet found any...
5. Great For Young Drivers!, November 4, 2009
By K. Ernst (Rochester, NY)
My 16-year old daughter just got her license a few weeks ago. Since then, she's been going out for drives a lot after school. Unfortunately, all the time spent in the car for her has meant less time for homework. Her grades have noticeably slipped, but instead of taking away her car privileges, I bought this steering wheel desk. It's perfect for young drivers with heavy academic loads! Now she can work on her homework and still be out driving, improving her road skills and staying on top of her grades. I couldn't be prouder and would encourage all parents with new drivers to set their kids up with this super-portable work station!
6. These worked great in the cockpit for our tanscontinental flights!, November 4, 2009
By Linky's Dad (Alexandria, KY)
My copilot and I both used these during our "daily grind" transcontinental flights from San Diego to Minneapolis. We had to modify them a bit to fit snug against the instrument panels (when we bought them we didn't realize the planes we fly don't have steering wheels!), but in the end it did the job. With our laptops firmly in place we were able to focus our attention on what really mattered, participating in raids with our World of Warcraft clan. During our last flight we were so immersed in trying to take down Eranikus that we overshot Minneapolis by a full hour and a half before some annoying flight attendant interrupted us, babbling something about "FAA and F16 fighters."
We'll definitely use this product again at our next gig, whatever and whenever that happens to be...