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Top Gear Philippines

Entertaining motoring rant

NOTE: Wow. That escalated quickly. The irresistibly entertaining rant that follows was posted on Facebook by a guy named Gian Gonzales. We were tagged by several people in the comments. Once we shared the rant on our own Facebook page, glorious hilarity ensued. We're publishing said rant here for our readers who are not on Facebook. Trust us, this is too good to miss. Enjoy!

Hey everyone. This is going to be a long post, but bear with me. It's me trynna be (or at least sound like) a responsible citizen.

I was walking across the grassy area of Burgos Circle when a black Toyota plowed right into the circle, stopping short of hitting the kids and their guardians that were there. After a few seconds of probably realizing she wasn't on Mario Kart, the driver pulled out of the lawn and drove back into the rotonda. Several people flagged the traffic enforcer WHO WAS A FEW FEET AWAY to apprehend the driver, which he did naman with a firm yet friendly pat on the car's hood as it drove past him. (Man, good thing that car wasn't made of soufflé, otherwise he would have wrecked it with his aggressive hood-tapping.)

Anyway, the driver rolled down her window and yelled "NAGMAMADALI AKO!" and drove off.

Traffic enforcer was like "LOL/whatevs/shrugging emoji" until an angry group of almost-road-paste people demanded that he radio the traffic group of BGC to track down the Mad Max reject.

This infuriates me because of two things:

A) The lady in the Toyota bulldozed into a populated space with people and kids and dogs--YES. DOGS. WILL NOBODY THINK OF THE BEAGLES??--and just drove off thinking the "I'm in a hurry" argument gave her carte blanche to flee the scene. Hey. Lady. Face the consequences of your stupidity, or at least ACT LIKE YOU'RE SORRY. Unless said pressing appointment is to catch fire while driving off a cliff for being a total C U Next Tuesday.

B) The traffic enforcer who, after seeing the incident happen three meters in front of him, went after the perp with the sense of urgency of a bamboo stalk in a Zen garden.

It's funny: In BGC, leaving your car double-parked on the street for two seconds will get you towed. Seriously, you guys. Try it. Leave your car in front of any Starbucks and blink three times. Open your eyes after the third blink and watch your car get towed as a BGC enforcer suddenly appears like a motherf*cking patronus.


And yet today, a car nearly runs over some kids and he barely lifts a finger. I love the irony, Mister Dedma McDedmapants. The first-world hassles of a double-parked car vs. Pre-Pubescent Street Pizza is a wonderful moral argument you guys must really love debating about at the security office's Christmas parties.

Anyway, so there. That's my long post that was more trouble to type than it was worth. But this is my neighborhood, and I think I have a right to rant like a senior citizen sitting on his porch.

Photo from Gian Gonzales

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