We all know the formula for a great Fast and Furious movie: desirable cars, daring heists, and Vin Diesel saying the word ‘family’ at frequencies so low they can only be detected by seismologists. On paper, then, Fast & Furious Crossroads has all the ingredients necessary for another classic installment. That said, the Titanic probably looked pretty good on paper, too.
Spinning an entirely original yarn and introducing brand-new lead characters, the narrative invites you to join Dom, Letty, and Roman as they attempt to take down the Tadakhul, a near-mythical band of highway robbers turned techno-terrorists. Over the course of the story mode, you can expect to replicate fan-favorite set pieces from the movies, including leaping onto moving trains, hijacking trucks, and of course, participating in the obligatory late-night street races. The only thing missing is a mission to restock the fridge with Coronas.
The problem is, the game constantly feels on the verge of shaking itself apart. Crossroads is ambitious in its own way, with a couple of surprisingly large open cities to shuttle across during missions, but the technology just doesn’t seem up to the challenge. This is a game that is positively riddled with bizarre glitches, ropey graphics, and frustratingly woolly objectives in missions. There’s also the lurching, lunging handling that makes you feel less like a heroic member of the Fast crew and more like you’re in charge of an unruly, nitrous-equipped shopping trolley.
After about four hours, you’ll have wrapped up the story and be left wondering where the rest of your £50 (P3,200) worth of entertainment went. There’s a multiplayer mode, with a neat three-on-three-on-three structure, but it suffers from the same issues as the single-player and won’t keep you occupied for long.
What’s most disappointing is that the developer clearly understands what makes the series so beloved by fans. There’s a glimmer of a good game in Crossroads and a plot that, at the very least, is no more nonsensical than the most recent movie. Sadly, that stuff is buried under a mountain of technical issues, rough edges, and underwhelming visuals.
Still, if you are unfortunate enough to buy Crossroads, at least the name is appropriate: It’ll be over fast and it’ll leave you furious.
NOTE: This article first appeared on TopGear.com. Minor edits have been made.