Dear irate passenger,
Hey, it's me. The guy behind the wheel. I read your letter a little while back about my habits that annoy you. That's cool, I'm all for constructive criticism. But in the interest of fairness, I've put together this list of things you do that get on my nerves. Just so we're clear:
1) Making a mess.
If I say you can eat in the car, keep it clean. I don't want to see ketchup stains on the seats. But if I say no, then that's final. I better not hear the crackling noise of you eating vegetarian chicharon.
2) Putting your feet up on the dash.
Oh, hey...um, yeah, don't do that. This is my car, not your living room. I work hard to keep that dash clean and scuff-free, you know.
3) Giving confusing directions.
Which way is it? Right or left? It gets mighty confusing when your mouth is saying one thing but your hand is gesturing something else. And don't say "puwede din" when we ask if we're turning right; if you're giving directions, choose the best way.
4) Giving directions way too late.
Oh, so you do know right from left. Congrats. But I wish you'd told me that a few meters earlier. Not when I'm already driving past the intersection.
5) Giving criticism that I didn't ask for.
If you're not behind the wheel, then I don't need to hear your input on my driving. My car, my rules.
6) Slamming the doors.
Galit ka? You know what, it doesn't matter. Close my doors gently.
7) Treating my dashboard as an outlet for your hyperactivity.
Did I ask you to change the radio station? Or open up the glove compartment? No? Good. Keep your hands to yourself then.
8) Talking s*** about my ride.
You don't like the way my car looks? Eh 'di maglakad ka! Or worse, mag-taxi ka.
9) Asking me to drop you off while I look for parking.
Unless I offer, of course. I am a nice guy, after all. But if I haven't said a damn thing, too bad. If we're headed to the same place, then you can walk with me from the parking lot.
10) Sleeping for the entirety of a long drive.
So while you're snoring away dreaming about God knows what (riding in a fancier car, maybe?), I'm bolt upright trying to get us to our destination in one piece. If you're not able to take a shift at the wheel, at least stay awake some of the time and keep me company. Otherwise, I'm more than happy to leave you behind at the nearest bus stop.
The guy behind the wheel
P.S. If you don't commit any of these sins, then my passenger seat is all yours.