Welcome, everyone, to inevitability. The BMW X3M and X4M.
Yes, we’re talking about proper M Division versions of BMW’s X-branded cars. You knew it was coming, guys.
So, you’ll notice that they’re both still “camouflaged”, but no one’s making a huge leap to find out what’s really going on underneath the subterfuge. They’re wearing tribal tattoos because they’re still technically not entirely done. But they’re pre-proper-production-run models, so what you’re looking at is what we’ll get. Just with more interesting paint jobs.
And the arrival of M versions of X3s and X4s leaves us in something of a conundrum—how do we refer to them? We can’t bring ourselves to lump them in with the other M cars, because M cars are sleek, low-slung things that will happily demolish a racetrack, and just as happily demolish any misconceptions you may nurse about just how good of a driver you are.
We’d call them XMs, but Citroen already claimed that with its hydro-pneumatically suspended collection of wedges. Or maybe MX, but that’s already been reserved by motocross. For now, we’ll just call them X-M cars, but if you have something better, we’re all ears.
But, as the old saying goes, a high-riding performance SUV by any other name would still be as pointless, so let’s get down to brass tacks. Unlike the X2 M35i we talked about last week, the X3 and X4 M cars both get proper straight-six engines, which BMW says are “newly developed”. The official press release leaves it at that, but we imagine it’s less of the ‘creating an entirely new engine architecture from scratch’ and more ‘working out a few technical things and how to package it all in a faux-by-four’. Power, torque and performance figures are all still private, but we can assume that respective answers to these questions will be: lots, lots and silly.