When this story idea was floated to me I pounced on it immediately. Finally! I’ve been waiting for this chance to vent my past frustrations and share my observations! It’s tough being a good-looking guy with a car, you know? I’m sick and tired of being shy about it. At last I can speak up.
Kidding aside, I do still think that the other boys in the Top Gear crew deserve the pogi title more than I do. To be honest, I’m actually clueless about the topic. Sure, people have told me a couple of times that Jon Snow looks like me, but that doesn’t mean anything, right? So, bear with me as I run you through a hypothetical list of things that only handsome car owners will understand.
1) When you are pogi, that passenger seat is never empty. You have to constantly check the passenger area of your car to make sure no hair clips, scrunchie elastic hair ties, make-up compacts, or lipstick tubes are left behind—for your next date to discover. Look under the seat twice. And don’t forget to check the door pockets and glove compartment.
2) Wrong signals are a no-no. Colleagues recount to you that somebody has been telling them that you "brought them home one night," blush a bit, and then just leave it at that. This would normally be okay, except the person you gave a lift is of the same sex. It’s flattering, of course, but then your orientation might be misconstrued a little. Surely this will make you think twice about being friendly and offering a lift to a dude who has no way to get home from an event in Pasay to his house in Quezon City—which is near your neighborhood anyway—during a heavy deluge. The lesson here is to not send the wrong signals. That’s hard to do when you’re pogi and friendly.
3) You love looking at the mirror. You also love your car. So what would be more satisfying than seeing a reflection of yourself while driving your car? When you’ve found the mall parking entrance with the perfect my-car-and-I-look-so-good-while-in-motion reflection—that’s it. No other mall will do anymore. We suggest Robinsons Galleria and it's long mirror-lined driveway. Its front entrance spans almost an entire city block. There’s lots of time for you to reflect on how good you look behind the wheel in your kick-ass reflection.
4) You have to keep rotating between drive-through ‘venues’. You know, because the all-knowing attendants recognize you from all of your visits and can’t help but give you the look. Tricky, as your date might notice this and ask why you’re known at establishments like these.
All of this rotating also renders your one precious discount card moot. Pogi college boys who still don't have a place of their own to crash will understand what this situation is like. The upside to this is that your discount card collection will grow—but having plenty is just borderline creepy.
5) You'll be spending a lot on car stickers. These are for entering the numerous gated subdivisions where your dates are from. This small collection of colorful numbered logos plastered on your windshield will cost you a small fortune, depending on how many dates are waiting for you, which is directly proportional to how pogi you are. Those stickers aren’t cheap, you know, but you need them.
If you resort to bribing the village guards with merienda and refreshments so that they don't call the house you're visiting to inform your date’s parents of your pending arrival, these expenses add up. Being pogi means parents don't want to see your handsome face anywhere near their daughters, so you have to work around that.
6) Being pogi is work, too. Only a handful are naturally gifted, but for the rest of you who have to work at it, having the right features in your car does help. It must have a trunk with enough space for multiple changes of clothes and shoes; a sun visor with a vanity mirror on the driver side; multiple, easy-to-access cubbyholes for sun block, moisturizers, and hair wax; and a sub-zero cool air-conditioner so that we always look mabango. Remember: Pogi boys don’t sweat when behind the wheel, no matter how hot it is outside, or how bad the traffic is.
7) It's all in the driver, not the car. Pogi boys know that it really doesn’t matter what brand or model you drive. From a rusty box-type Mitsubishi Lancer to a brand-new ND-generation Mazda Miata, there’s only one thing that’s important, and that’s you. You make these cars—new or old—look good. That’s a fact. And anyone who rides in your car will be reminded of that absolute truth every single time. Say it with me now: I make this car look good.